Why can’t the girl I want want me back?
Treating this as if it were like any other day partying, I noticed something.
People drink and smoke not for the idea of a social gathering, but for the goal of regressing into a childhood state. At least that’s what I’ve noticed.
Tonight, I witnessed two close friends, in two totally unrelated cliques (or rather, pairings of circles among totally unrelated friendships) become polar opposites to their normal, sober state.
One man, a normally happy-go-lucky, here-to-help others sort of fellow, changed into a sort of ill-tempered panicky angry child.
The other, a typical introvert with artistic qualities and a mild-mannered sense of humor, changed into an outlandish, “come at me bro,” king of the world, happy care-free ambient soul.
It was interesting to see what the affect of alcohol and weed combined had on the two. It was like entering into a time machine to see how the two acted as children growing up amongst their parents.
I imagine that the introvert was originally a hyper-active child with a vivid imagination used to create alternate worlds and fantasies of dreams wished to be cast into reality during playtime. Slowly over time with his parents nagging him to shut up and be quiet, he became a more shy, timid, character, with his true self being pushed back into a part of himself that is rarely ever shown, mostly only to himself in his drawings.
The caring lovey-dovey fellow was at first an angry, agressive, and forceful child with hopes of continual conflict for entertainment. Having no male sibling to interact with and take these feelings out on, he turned to his younger sister, later being acted upon violently by his own parents and forced to learn to be loving and gentle towards any and all in his life for lack of tolerance of the parents seeing a part of their own agressiveness within this young boy.
I always got hints of seeing who these two really were, but tonight put it out on the table. It’s in the open. I’ll never see the two truly as the self-imaged characters they depict themselves as to others in everyday life. It’s merely a facade. Something they were forced to adapt to, time and time again as they grew older.
It scares me to know now how much a parents actions towards their child, with the hopes of raising them in the right way, can do so much emotional damage to them as young adults trying to learn who they are.
Hell, maybe I’m just tired and overanalyze when I’m sleep deprived..
Happy New Years, everyone. May 2013 provoke more interactive and deep thought within us all to help better understand this crazy, messed up world we all try so very hard to understand. Goodnight.